Okay, so you think you are in love. Fair enough. You must be feeling all lovely and fragile but yet confused. Maybe you are experiencing some loss of appetite. Some of you are dancing to tunes and the rest of you are probably lovesick. You want to deal with this feeling as soon as possible. You heart does a summersault every time you get a glimpse of your ‘Mr/Ms Special’. Or maybe you are already in a relationship and you are heed of over heals.

Love, can’t be defined. I can’t give you a set of definitions or a list of symptoms indicating you are in love. People interpret love in a million ways. So, we will not get further complicated trying to come up with the justifications behind love.

There are no rules to love. You can’t follow a set of techniques and expect a sound relationship nor can you expect a painless heart. To me, where there is love, there will be some kind of pain. I refer to it as Sweet pain. However, I would rather you not go through any kind of pain or complication at such a tender age. This age is where you discover so many new things and where you just invite all these new feelings and explorations into your life, but you don’t take them too seriously. Love included.

So what kind of advice do you need? Perhaps you are still hanging on to your feelings and you have yet to express your love. Should you approach him/her?

Ask yourself if this ‘love’ or taking this feelings one step forward is important or very crucial. Can it wait? Let me share what happened to my brother recently.

He started developing strong feelings this girl in college. She was the ‘one’. He thought. And still thinks. He would secretly admire her during recess and in between class periods. He would catch her giggling with her friends and he would have stored that image in his intellectual mind. He really liked her but never found it necessary to approach her. But one day, she left. She was in year 2 and she had graduated. Bang! It hit him quite hard. He became ill for two days and he even wept. He said,” I’m telling you, I really love her.” But it was too late. Then I asked him the obvious and he replied, “My priority is to complete my A’ levels with flying colours. One part of my heart wanted to be in a relationship with her, but another was worried about destabilising my concentration.”

Good one sweetie. I didn’t have much advice to give him but I told him that if it was meant to happen, it will. And the latest fills me in that she has already added him on Friendster. Moral of the story- love can wait, especially at your age.

Don’t ever neglect your priorities. Don’t detach away from your life, just because you are in love, or think you are. Keep your live going. Invite your feelings to join your present lifestyle. Don’t let these feelings and everything else associated with it control or take toll of your whole life.

When we develop this wonderful feeling for another person, we start feeling on top of the world, everyday. Love is the best feeling you can feel as it makes you feel great in one moment- and the very next-(reality check) a complete fool! This is where you will need the advice and this is where many of us fall.

There are a few things which you should understand:

Love has no age. Basically it bears no rules. But you have values and responsibilities besides love. They were in your life before you fell in love. Respect the present and make way for the future. Watch your pace.

Having strong feelings for another person tends to make you more emotional. Learn to assess your feelings and deal with them. Don’t let your emotions make all your decisions. Use your head. It’s there for a reason.

If you decide to take one step forward, make sure you let someone around you know about your decision. You can share the good news with a friend, sibling or a cousin. There will be times you might need to consult someone regarding your relationship.

Getting physical is not necessary in every relationship, especially if you are unsure about your choice. Make sure you respect your body whether you are a male or female.

Like I mentioned earlier, heartbreak is almost inevitable. If it happens, take it as a lesson and don’t do anything foolish. Our live is indeed a present by God. We should never take it for granted. Committing suicide and self mutilation is almost a tradition amongst teens. That is an entirely different issue but make sure it never lingers near your mind.

I would like to end this article with a quote by the respected Khalil Gibran- a well known poet.

He gives us an extremely deep description of love: “For even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth, so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth”.